Frances and Jet Owens are role models for so many of us who dream of living like these gorgeous and unashamed “grand dames” when we get older. But why wait? Take their advice and live like you want today.

• Eat chocolate cake for breakfast.

• Dance under the full moon, clothes entirely optional.

• Cats belong in your home, on top of your tables, and wherever they so please.

• Always be kind to neighbors, even if they cross the street to avoid you.

• Wear giant hats, the more dramatic the better.

• Take caution peering into the covered mirror in the shed: you might see your future.

• Love, nurture, and know your own garden, the dangerous plants and the gentle.

• Remember that there’s a little witch in everyone.

• A parasol is both a practical and fashionable accessory.

• You can’t practice witchcraft while you look down your nose at it.

• Leave your back porch light on at night for those who may need you.

• If a broom falls, company is coming.

• You can always tell a witch by her red shoes.

• On hot August days, when you want to murder whoever crosses you, drink lemonade instead.

• Wear the fancy dress today. Use the formal china. Life is a celebration.

• Bathe with lavender oil and cool, fresh water.

• Being normal is not necessarily a virtue— it rather denotes a lack of courage.

• When life gets you down, conjure Midnight Margaritas.

• Throw spilled salt over your left shoulder, keep rosemary by your garden gate, plant roses and lavender for luck, and fall in love whenever you can.

Illustrated by Guinevere von Sneeden

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Grace Nuth is a writer, artist, and model living in central Ohio with her husband, black cat, and a garden full of fairies. She also co-wrote The Faerie Handbook, out in November 2017 from Harper Design. To follow her projects, please visit


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